Hey hi hello. I am her. I am newly 33. I am an LA native but I've been told I speak with the intensity and volume of a New Yorker. I started this blog over a decade ago under a different name; Sex, Drugs + Borderline Agoraphobia. You can check that out here.
Barring this entry, as it is an intro, every subsequent entry will include either a story I've been telling myself for years that has directly or indirectly effected my life today, or a sentimental object I've kept around for one reason or another- either or both of these prompts will propel me into some sort of diatribe that I'm sure you may find fractionally interesting, if not just for laughing at me and my missteps, misinterpretations, misinformation and general misses.
While I no longer partake in drugs recreationally, I do take a hefty amount of drugs to maintain a disguise comparable to the seemingly sane entities strolling along and tripping on the uneven pavement in LA.
I do not spend a ton of time spellchecking or making grammatical corrections. Honestly, I still send important emails to my mom to proof read. Feel free to comment corrections below so I know who to block.
This blog is a tool for me to document my life in an effort to organize my thoughts, digest, take action and/or sit in the things I think, feel, understand and don't.
I hope you understand that this is a blog, not a conversation. This is not me coming to you for advice- I'm not looking for a hive mind, I'm not fishing or begging for attention. I am simply using the tools I have at my fingertips to decompress from life, as I am free to do, just as you are free to come along or to fuck right off.
Trigger warnings: I will try and include a trigger warning at the top of each entry for readers who may be sensitive to the content.
General trigger warning: I will be talking about my experiences with depression, anxiety and the darkness that comes along with all of that. I will be talking about my personal and often bloody journey through feminism. I will be talking about sexuality, attraction, rape, assault and abuse. Some names will be changed, others will not. In my opinion the comfort of anonymity is a privilege given up the minute you dishonor, disrupt or destroy another person's emotional wellbeing, psyche and/or body.
I beg you to not look at this as a cry for help. I'm fine and am beyond privileged. I have resources, people and structures in place when i need them. This is no cause for alarm, its just my musings albeit darker than the average joe.
So, I am her... and my hope is that regardless of sex assigned at birth, binary gender, age, race, religion... you find you are a little bit of her as well.
x h e r